Free Indeed, first, my rights I must concede

written January 2025

"Like a broken record, my life seems to keep skipping a beat. Honestly, it feels like it's time to finally declare defeat."

No mountain high or valley low can ever keep us from your love

So why does it feel like this valley is going to swallow me whole?

He said in his sermon don't trust your feelings

So why am I letting them lead me astray

Straying away from daily habits, I developed to spend time with you

Rather than trusting that you'll make a way

I'm running from what you've called me to

Not intentionally, but unintentionally

Intentionally choosing to go numb

Cyclical

Like a broken record, my life seems to keep skipping a beat

Honestly, it feels like it's time to finally declare defeat

And it is just not the one you had in mind

Yes, a funeral is necessary

But to my flesh and not my body

Convictions will continue to come

But when it comes time to make a move, don't let it slip away and continue in the groove that's keeping you stuck

Bowing to the idol of self

No mountain too high, no valley too low can separate me from your love

The only way to win this war you are losing is to lay down your weapons and stop trying to win this battle through your own strength and power

Hope will get you places

Love will carry you

And faith will keep you

Surrender and don't let the enemy cheat you

This world is not your home, His ways are not our ways

It's simple the truths written within

You know them, you just don't live them

Live for YHWH, not yourself

Live to help others, not please them, but love them

Aim to please one, the only One who holds your life in His hands

The only one who in His presence we are like sand

Small and seemingly insignificant, but valuable to the One who created us

Trust in His ways not your own

Live for a Kingdom to come, not the day you can see

Marry one and save sex for marriage alone

Walk uprightly, honest and true

Honouring the one seated on the throne

Do not worry or stress

Cast your cares

And turn all your concerns into prayers

That you leave at His feet not carrying them further

Pray without ceasing

Honour your parents, no matter how you feel about your upbringing

Have discipline over your body

You control it, it does not control you

Submit to your Maker, not your desires

Surrender your life and do what He requires

It's simple

Seek wisdom and truth

And serve Him from your youth

Invest in the Kingdom, store your treasure in heaven

Don't love the things of this world

If it's so simple, then why do I continue to struggle?

What does healing look like, and is it for me?

The truth will set you free

What truth will set me free?

Am I... free indeed?

It sure doesn't feel like it

-M